So I was on this mission leaving the hospital to see if I needed to go home and pack my bag for Springbrook Hospital or find out why me. I know I didn't feel crazier than I had a month ago. I knew that in order to prove to others and myself that I would need some support. And the first time I saw them my one and only support was ready to ship me to the "nutward" as he calls it. (I really hate it when he says that.) So I felt alone and frightened. I mean who wouldn't be?
I'm happy to report now that it doesn't scare me. Every hour of every day they are around me. It took me a little while to learn how to understand them, communicate when I couldn't really hear them or when it was just words and not sentences. They learned words and objects that I use to figure out what they are trying to tell me. So now it's easier for them to know what their boundaries are and to respect those boundaries and believe it or not they do. I had no privacy for awhile. It was hard, to say the least. The first couple of months when I still couldn't prove to people that I really saw spirit were some of the hardest. I really wasn't even a hundred percent convinced myself. And it was scary because if it was true and I really did see them what did they want from me and were they good or were they bad. I had no idea. I had tried proving to Bryant, to my mom, to even to my dad who's how many hundreds of miles away and they didn't believe me and laughed it off. But anybody in their right mind would be skeptical because that's just not heard of often. People think you're crazy and I'm already crazy so this one was just an exacerbation of my illness they assumed. There would be times I heard tons of chatter or music and I'd ask Bryant if he heard it. I' d get so frustrated because I wanted someone to see and hear the same as me...to validate it for me... that came soon enough though when I started doing EVPs and using a spirit box. I started getting messages and warnings that people knew I couldn't know myself. Right down to names. I was exhilarated...and so began my journey...
I'm happy to report now that it doesn't scare me. Every hour of every day they are around me. It took me a little while to learn how to understand them, communicate when I couldn't really hear them or when it was just words and not sentences. They learned words and objects that I use to figure out what they are trying to tell me. So now it's easier for them to know what their boundaries are and to respect those boundaries and believe it or not they do. I had no privacy for awhile. It was hard, to say the least. The first couple of months when I still couldn't prove to people that I really saw spirit were some of the hardest. I really wasn't even a hundred percent convinced myself. And it was scary because if it was true and I really did see them what did they want from me and were they good or were they bad. I had no idea. I had tried proving to Bryant, to my mom, to even to my dad who's how many hundreds of miles away and they didn't believe me and laughed it off. But anybody in their right mind would be skeptical because that's just not heard of often. People think you're crazy and I'm already crazy so this one was just an exacerbation of my illness they assumed. There would be times I heard tons of chatter or music and I'd ask Bryant if he heard it. I' d get so frustrated because I wanted someone to see and hear the same as me...to validate it for me... that came soon enough though when I started doing EVPs and using a spirit box. I started getting messages and warnings that people knew I couldn't know myself. Right down to names. I was exhilarated...and so began my journey...