So I decided to just start writing a week or so ago on
First
I changed my viewing options on here so that friends of friends could see my profile. I posted a cute pic of myself and waited. Sure enough...over the last month, I've received close to 1500 friend requests!! I kid u not. That sure shocked the shit out of me. I get at least 50 messages a day telling me I'm beautiful, sexy, blah, blah, blah. I've even gotten calls from men I don't even know!! Talk about creepy. Point being in my 36 yrs of being on this earth I've NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER gotten attention like this. Granted it's very flattering but it confirms my hypothesis and the reason for me doing this. OK here is where you'll understand my twisted mind...rewind to high school..worst time of my life. Back when I was 11 I was diagnosed with 4 mental health disorders. Depression, bipolar, anxiety and PTSD. And everyone knew...and made fun of me like you couldn't believe. I slept most of my sophomore year away in a boggle of depression. And when I was awake all I did was cry. I even botched a suicide attempt and a kid made fun of me for it saying I was too chicken and tried to off myself with a butterknife. Hence the nickname "butterknife girl". Great right? That one followed me all through school. Thanks for that. I distanced myself from everyone and when I graduated the only "click" I belonged to consisted of 3...me, myself and I. Trust me I was not a good friend to myself but it was so much better than wanting to crawl in a hole and die every day because your peers thought u were crazy....