It's been one of those days...those days I hate. Those days when all you do is cry and revert to your bubble to wallow in self-pity. I love my bubble because it gives me a sense of security. And I can shut myself out from the outside world. Its been one of those days where I attempted to make chili and couldn't even do that. Right back to my bedroom to cry some more. I oftentimes feel so alone. Even though I know I have my family. I feel like I'm standing in a crowded room screaming for help and nobody even knows I'm there. Depression is a debilitating disease that beats me on most days. I think the hardest thing for me is dealing with the outside world. When I'm taken out of my bubble, my safe place. I have to pretend to be ok and wear a facade. I wear a facade so much my face aches. If only people knew how I really felt. Or understood. And the thing is, I don't have to have a specific thing wrong with me to be sad. I just am. I wish more people understood that. I can't just "get over it" like so many people tell me. It's like me telling them to get over having diabetes. Or get over that cancer they have. This is a genuine disease that can debilitate a person. I wish more people understood that. Then maybe they would understand me...
I've decided that instead of only writing entries on specific days I'm gonna start writing every time I'm compelled to. Getting all my feelings and emotions out might be really good therapy for me. One of my therapists once told me to start a journal. Maybe it's about time I listened...❤❤❤
I've decided that instead of only writing entries on specific days I'm gonna start writing every time I'm compelled to. Getting all my feelings and emotions out might be really good therapy for me. One of my therapists once told me to start a journal. Maybe it's about time I listened...❤❤❤