Go? Go where? I wanted to stay where I was. So now instead of praying to God to keep me on Earth, I'm praying to God to keep me there. I felt a relief when I looked up from my body and the room was so bright. There was a particular spot that was just a little bit brighter and I thought oh thank you! Oh my gosh, I got to get there. I have to get there right now. As soon as I went to take one step the next thing I knew I was staring up at the ceiling again. I was back in my body. And totally heartbroken. (Man your girl's two for two. I can't even die right. Even when I don't inflict it on myself. I'm stuck here the rest of my miserable, negative life.) I heard the doctor mumbling something to me I couldn't really focus at that time. Eventually, when I started to focus I was so cold. Literally freezing to death. I was so cold that they had to wrap me in bubble wrap. So this is hell. Another disappointment. I look up and my mom's still not there. I'm still all alone thinking to myself I deserve it. I deserve everything that has happened and everything still coming to me.
The student doctor must have seen me looking around and ran up to me and apologized for telling mom it was okay to leave and that he still couldn't get ahold of her. But within the next 5 mins or so he did. Her and my stepdad ran up immediately. She automatically wanted to know what happened. And yeah me too... I still didn't know. Out of the tons of times I've had that CT with contrast done my body decided that it couldn't handle the dye anymore. I had somehow developed an allergy to the IV contrast. A serious allergy which had caused me to go into anaphylactic shock. And that is no joke folks. They transferred me to the ICU for two days to keep an eye on me and I still had to have the surgery done to remove the abscess that was on my leg. Great fun. Before all this happened I had decided that I was going to have a fresh start and I was going to for once listen to people instead of going with my gut. But then after this, the only way that I can be was to follow my heart and my outlook was so much different about life. Love was so important to me. It was crazy that I walked into that hospital a few days before one person and a few days later I walked out the door a totally different one.
My Bryant, my soulmate whom I hadn't seen in four months came back down here from New York where I had left him in May. The moment I saw him, I knew I was right to follow my heart even though we had nowhere to live. Luckily we had a friend that agreed to let us stay there for a couple days. I felt weird because I didn't know his wife. And we didn't end up getting along at that time. She ended up kicking us out after 2 days. Why you ask? Well, I will tell you when I continue this story tomorrow. Fyi she's my best friend now. We didn't speak for a year. It showed me and it showed her that people come into your life sometimes at the wrong time and when you aren't ready. But if they are truly meant to be in your life they will come back when you need them the most.
The student doctor must have seen me looking around and ran up to me and apologized for telling mom it was okay to leave and that he still couldn't get ahold of her. But within the next 5 mins or so he did. Her and my stepdad ran up immediately. She automatically wanted to know what happened. And yeah me too... I still didn't know. Out of the tons of times I've had that CT with contrast done my body decided that it couldn't handle the dye anymore. I had somehow developed an allergy to the IV contrast. A serious allergy which had caused me to go into anaphylactic shock. And that is no joke folks. They transferred me to the ICU for two days to keep an eye on me and I still had to have the surgery done to remove the abscess that was on my leg. Great fun. Before all this happened I had decided that I was going to have a fresh start and I was going to for once listen to people instead of going with my gut. But then after this, the only way that I can be was to follow my heart and my outlook was so much different about life. Love was so important to me. It was crazy that I walked into that hospital a few days before one person and a few days later I walked out the door a totally different one.
My Bryant, my soulmate whom I hadn't seen in four months came back down here from New York where I had left him in May. The moment I saw him, I knew I was right to follow my heart even though we had nowhere to live. Luckily we had a friend that agreed to let us stay there for a couple days. I felt weird because I didn't know his wife. And we didn't end up getting along at that time. She ended up kicking us out after 2 days. Why you ask? Well, I will tell you when I continue this story tomorrow. Fyi she's my best friend now. We didn't speak for a year. It showed me and it showed her that people come into your life sometimes at the wrong time and when you aren't ready. But if they are truly meant to be in your life they will come back when you need them the most.