Depression sucks. I don't know how else to describe it. It's like a dark cloud over your head that you can't get away from. For every good day I have, three bad days follow. It never fails. Yesterday was a bad day. It was mothers day and yet again I'm without my precious boys. It sucks. So, of course, my dark cloud rolled back into port. And it'll probably stay there a while. One of the things people do when they're in an active stage of depression is they think about everything. And those things that they think about they dwell on. I excel at that. My bouts consist of lying in my room alone with the lights dim. Crying and overthinking everything. Sleep is a joke believe it or not. Eating...out of the question. Sometimes I go so long without eating that every time I stand up I almost pass out. And as far as my lack of sleep I sometimes go so long that I can't even talk right. Believe it or not, Bryant has become worried sick about me. Making sure I take my meds every day and never miss a doctors appt. He's the only one. People that I thought were my family chose their own greed over my health. Then they have the nerve to throw stones at him. Yes, he fucked up but at the end of the day, I can always count on him to be there when nobody else is. But that story is for another day. Because I could literally write another book with that situation, it's that bad. And one of the reasons I'm having such a hard time at the moment. Seems it's true what they say when it rains it pours. I keep waiting for these damn meds to kick in. Any day now I'm hoping. Because honestly, I don't know how much longer I can deal with this...