I started writing this Friday and only got a few sentences written when I had to stop because I couldn't see through the tears. This is as far as I got...
If I was in any condition last night I would have had so much to write. Unfortunately, I wasn't. Dipshit had disappeared again for the night. "I slept in the car last night." This is what I heard. Yeah right, you piece of shit. So yesterday was spent screaming and then it got even worse. My Chromebook went flying because I took the keys to MY car when I told him to get the fuck out when his ride came. Unfortunately, his friends bolted leaving him behind when the bitch came out of me. I picked up my laptop, gave him a fuck you and descended to my room, keys in my bra. I knew that he was fired up so along the way I made sure I locked him out of the main house. Big mistake. He started screaming, pulling the door in an unsuccessful attempt to get it open. I knew if I didn't go back and open it my Florida room would be no more. So reluctantly I walked back out, unlocked the door and scurried in my room.
The screaming continued, him in the bathroom and I in the bedroom, me pulling every ounce of fault I could throw at him. My downfall is this...I don't know when to shut up. I will say every hurtful thing I can think of to push his buttons. And trust me, I have that down to a science. Well, it was definitely not the night to practice that. All of a sudden my bedroom door was ripped open and there he stood. His eyes were ones I don't see often and it scared me to death. I knew that I went too far. As he was coming towards me I quickly dialed 911 and hung it up even more afraid. I flew onto the bed phone in hand and that's where things got extremely worse. Towering over me I felt the first punch in the side of my head and I couldn't believe it. And they just kept coming. If I had to guess I would say my head took a beating about eight times. Crying and shaking I just laid there praying and wondering why God wasn't there keeping me safe. But deep down I already knew that answer. He had opened the door for me to walk through several times before and I chickened out every time. It was finally safe to say he has sealed that door on me for good and I had no one to blame but myself. He raced out of the room and I just sat there crying in pain as my phone started to ring. Looking down I was in fear once more as I read emergency call on the screen.
If I was in any condition last night I would have had so much to write. Unfortunately, I wasn't. Dipshit had disappeared again for the night. "I slept in the car last night." This is what I heard. Yeah right, you piece of shit. So yesterday was spent screaming and then it got even worse. My Chromebook went flying because I took the keys to MY car when I told him to get the fuck out when his ride came. Unfortunately, his friends bolted leaving him behind when the bitch came out of me. I picked up my laptop, gave him a fuck you and descended to my room, keys in my bra. I knew that he was fired up so along the way I made sure I locked him out of the main house. Big mistake. He started screaming, pulling the door in an unsuccessful attempt to get it open. I knew if I didn't go back and open it my Florida room would be no more. So reluctantly I walked back out, unlocked the door and scurried in my room.
The screaming continued, him in the bathroom and I in the bedroom, me pulling every ounce of fault I could throw at him. My downfall is this...I don't know when to shut up. I will say every hurtful thing I can think of to push his buttons. And trust me, I have that down to a science. Well, it was definitely not the night to practice that. All of a sudden my bedroom door was ripped open and there he stood. His eyes were ones I don't see often and it scared me to death. I knew that I went too far. As he was coming towards me I quickly dialed 911 and hung it up even more afraid. I flew onto the bed phone in hand and that's where things got extremely worse. Towering over me I felt the first punch in the side of my head and I couldn't believe it. And they just kept coming. If I had to guess I would say my head took a beating about eight times. Crying and shaking I just laid there praying and wondering why God wasn't there keeping me safe. But deep down I already knew that answer. He had opened the door for me to walk through several times before and I chickened out every time. It was finally safe to say he has sealed that door on me for good and I had no one to blame but myself. He raced out of the room and I just sat there crying in pain as my phone started to ring. Looking down I was in fear once more as I read emergency call on the screen.
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