I called him right away preparing myself for an over the phone battle. But to my surprise, I had no fight left in me. All I could do was sob. Now I felt like an even bigger idiot, how dare he get me to my point of utter weakness. When I asked why he had taken all his things while I was asleep he said that he had stayed with me to make sure I was okay but was afraid and panicked. His flight or fight instinct was almost always flight and that's exactly what he did. He had left me alone once more, beaten, battered and scarred.
As the day progressed I spent the whole day in bed in shock. I couldn't believe this was happening again. With us, our relationship is different. Even though we fight and do things to each other that we aren't proud of, we both know that we will end up back together. In my eyes we are soulmates and the fights that we get in are just that. Fights. Then we make up and are fine within a few days. But this time, I wasn't quite sure. I knew that he was really catching feelings for this shardwhore and it totally took me for a loop.
I prayed that it didn't end like this but as the day progressed I lost faith in us more and more. The next day I had some things to do for some friends so I kept busy. But not a moment went by that he wasn't in the back of my mind. We didn't really speak which was foreign to me because even when we are fighting we always manage to speak at some point. The last of my friends left around one am and I crawled into bed alone and hungry for his affection once again. I didn't know how I was going to do this alone. I didn't even wanna try. Even though we have our problems, he's my right-hand man. At the end of the day, I knew he would always be there for me. At least that's what I had thought up until that point. But now things were different, the situation was different, and I wasn't quite sure of even that anymore.
I don't know why but a few hours later I woke up. It was only around 5 am, way too early to deal with the world. As usual, the first thing I did was reach for my phone. I was surprised when I saw five missed messages. I was even more surprised when I saw they were from him and I started to read them. The first message read, " Aprel u up" the next message was a kick in my gut. It read "I don't know why I'm thinking of you, I'm sorry" I just laid there in disbelief. After all the bullshit that he's put me through, he sends me this. I didn't even know how to respond. Then the messages continued to say, "I'm on my way," "Aprel I need you to call me" and ended with "Aprel hurry." I just kinda laid there in shock. Was this the same man who walked out on me a few days earlier without even an explanation? Was it just another one of his attempts to pull a fast one on me? Or did he really need me? He is the love of my life and even in a fucked-up situation like this I still could never turn my back on him if he really needed me. The little voice inside my head was screaming at me to put the phone down and ignore him, but I couldn't help it. I took a deep breath told myself to be strong and not cry and dialed his number. I couldn't wait to hear this.
As the day progressed I spent the whole day in bed in shock. I couldn't believe this was happening again. With us, our relationship is different. Even though we fight and do things to each other that we aren't proud of, we both know that we will end up back together. In my eyes we are soulmates and the fights that we get in are just that. Fights. Then we make up and are fine within a few days. But this time, I wasn't quite sure. I knew that he was really catching feelings for this shardwhore and it totally took me for a loop.
I prayed that it didn't end like this but as the day progressed I lost faith in us more and more. The next day I had some things to do for some friends so I kept busy. But not a moment went by that he wasn't in the back of my mind. We didn't really speak which was foreign to me because even when we are fighting we always manage to speak at some point. The last of my friends left around one am and I crawled into bed alone and hungry for his affection once again. I didn't know how I was going to do this alone. I didn't even wanna try. Even though we have our problems, he's my right-hand man. At the end of the day, I knew he would always be there for me. At least that's what I had thought up until that point. But now things were different, the situation was different, and I wasn't quite sure of even that anymore.
I don't know why but a few hours later I woke up. It was only around 5 am, way too early to deal with the world. As usual, the first thing I did was reach for my phone. I was surprised when I saw five missed messages. I was even more surprised when I saw they were from him and I started to read them. The first message read, " Aprel u up" the next message was a kick in my gut. It read "I don't know why I'm thinking of you, I'm sorry" I just laid there in disbelief. After all the bullshit that he's put me through, he sends me this. I didn't even know how to respond. Then the messages continued to say, "I'm on my way," "Aprel I need you to call me" and ended with "Aprel hurry." I just kinda laid there in shock. Was this the same man who walked out on me a few days earlier without even an explanation? Was it just another one of his attempts to pull a fast one on me? Or did he really need me? He is the love of my life and even in a fucked-up situation like this I still could never turn my back on him if he really needed me. The little voice inside my head was screaming at me to put the phone down and ignore him, but I couldn't help it. I took a deep breath told myself to be strong and not cry and dialed his number. I couldn't wait to hear this.