Defeated...that's how I feel. I cant for the life of me catch a break and I feel like everything refuses to go my way. When did I manage to loose all control of my life and forget my priorities?
My life is a pile of shit right now, and it doesnt look like its getting any better, only worse. I hate when Karma rears it's ugly head at me and reminds me of my fuck ups. Leaving PA and my boys behind was my biggest one. As a result, for the rest of my life karma will remind me of this. I'll never be happy, a constant reminder of the mistake I made.
I did think for one short period that things were looking up, that maybe it was my time to shine. But karma quickly hit me in the gut, reminding me of how stupid I was to even think of something so rediculous.
I have fought so hard lately to keep it together and not fall apart. But a long time ago and without me realizing it my foundation decided to start crumbling from the inside out. And it just continues to. I keep wondering when God is going to say that I've suffered long enough and begin to clear the clouds above my head, reveiling the sunlight once again.
Years and years of saddness and pain, when does it finally do a person in? I've finally reached my breaking point, it's over. The woman who once caught a glimpse of happiness is defeated, once more.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Remember...GOD doesn't like ugly... No rude comments please. Thanks!!