THREE MISSING PIECES

    So I have this aching inside me that just won't go away. I miss my boys. I miss them so much, it eats away at me more and more every day. I hate the fact that my ex has cut them off from me and refuses to let me in. I have begged, and I have begged for some type of relationship with them, but he's blocked me from every avenue.

  

      Last night, I had a dream that I was back in Pittsburgh, and back in the townhouse we once all shared. When I opened the door, there was a note from my mom telling me that she was proud of me for coming home and to not fuck it up this time. At first, it was quiet as I walked into the kitchen and then into the dining room. Then, off in the distance, I could hear noise coming from the upstairs. I walked over to the stairs and as I started to climb them it became clear that it was voices I heard. When I got to the top and entered the room that the boys had once shared, there was my Justin, now all grown up, staring at me with these lost eyes shocked at what he was seeing. I walked over now crying, and my heart became a puddle. I grabbed him and hugged him as tight as I could and promised I'd never leave him again. Holding his hand we walked into the second bedroom and there in front of me there they were. My other two angels sitting together, my Tony and my Luca. I just ran and hugged them, pulling Justin with me. We all just sat there hugging and crying, so happy to be united again. It was heaven.

   

     When I woke this morning, one thing was clear, I have to get back to them. Someway, somehow. I want them to know that I love them and I haven't forgotten about them. I've decided that from now until that day I will get on here and write them as much as I possibly can. Hopefully, they see it, it's my last hope at communication.

    And as far as today, I hope they find this entry, and slowly they can let me back in. I've missed so much, I can't miss anymore.