Sunday, August 28, 2022

WALKING AFTER MIDNIGHT

    How far will you let a person go when they're taking advantage of you? How can they not see that what they are doing is wrong? I keep asking myself that very same question. So let me rewind back twelve days so it all makes sense. 

    The night before his disappearing act he told me that one of his homeboys was coming over to visit. He said this as he was shutting the bedroom blind so I couldn't see out to the doorway. I knew then something was up. After being gone for what seemed like forever I called down to the Florida room when I heard the bass bumping at one am. He answered and in the background, I heard a female's voice and I flipped. Dykes he said, two dykes came to visit and he thought nothing of it. First, he lied about it being a male coming over only to find out it was not one but two females. 

    After bitching all night that they were there, they finally left at eleven that morning. We argued the rest of the day because I was so pissed off. Later that night he came into the bedroom dressed to impress and smelling like a million bucks. After eating, sleeping, and breathing this man for seven years I knew he was up to something.

    After changing his outfit three times I definitely knew it. So when he said he was going for a walk a short time later I knew the wiser. He was leaving. Ten minutes later I called him and wouldn't cha know no answer. I called again a few more times until finally, he shut his phone off all together. That was it for me. I saw red as I was hurling his things onto the back porch telling myself over and over again that I was done. Done with the bullshit, done with the lying, and definitely done with the cheating. 

    That night I stayed up waiting for him to come home and couldnt believe it when darkness came again and he still wasnt back. I was angry at him for leaving but even more hurt that he was doing this to me again. I warned him last time that there would be no next time, and here I am reliving it all over again. I blamed myself for letting it happen again. I guess once a fool always a fool. To be continued...

     

Monday, August 08, 2022

AFTERLIFE PAIN IN THE ASS

 They say that God works in mysterious ways, tonight I think it was Christian. My dearly departed friend that left this earth ten months ago continues to amaze me from the heavens. He always told me, "Aprel, now stop she's chill." And I would always say something smart ass to make him change the subject. I had no intention at that point in making friends with someone I thought had done me wrong. But I was wrong about that too. And for that girl, I'm truly sorry. 

    But today, today events changed my mind. Why? Because of him. For some reason he drew us together today to realize we aren't so different. Maybe it was because I needed clarity, maybe it was because we just needed each other. Christian could not stand it when ppl he loved didn't get along and I think today he figured that it was going to change. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and this was for reason. So, thank you, you pain in the ass, thank you for showing me your still with us all. Love you. 

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