KITTEN

      I haven’t been able to speak of it until now. What happened the end of August was probably on my top ten of hardest things I’ve had to go through in my life. Things like that change a person and it’s something that I can honestly say will stay with me forever. 

      August 23rd was my Tonys birthday, every year when another birthday passes my heart hurts more and more. Anyway, as I was wallowing in self-pity my phone went off. "Hi Kitten" popped up on my screen. It was my Aunt Emily checking in as she often did sometimes fifty times a day. There was a period of like five years where we didn't speak, and we had just recently made amends and instantly were close again. She had moved two streets in front of me like six months prior, so we were always communicating, and she was always knocking at my slider. I enjoyed the visits, and she enjoyed my company as well. 

      After finishing our conversation I went about my business, I enjoyed our little talk and felt better. The next couple of days I went about my life and all the bullshit that came with it. The 28th was Bryant and my nine-year anniversary. For the first time ever, we had plans to go out on a date. I was so happy.

      As I was getting ready, my aunt popped into my head. I realized that I had not spoken to her for five days and figured I'd give her a call and check in. When I called it rang and rang and I was sent to voicemail. This wasn't abnormal for her though. Usually, she would go to bed pretty early and then around 3-4am she'd be up, and she'd message me. Bryant and I went out and stayed out till probably 5am. I was so happy that when we got home, I didn't even realize how late it was. I went to bed and that was that. 

     Two days later, around 4pm my aunt popped into my head again. I realized that she never called me back from two days prior and a nervous feeling came over me. I dialed her phone and this time; it went straight to voicemail. Instantly, I called my uncle. He informed me that he hadn't spoken to her since he had seen her on the 22nd and asked me to go check on her.

      Reluctantly, I agreed to go over and make sure everything was okay. I didn't know why, but I had a really, really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I went outside and told Bryant that I'd be back. He just nodded and went about his business. I stayed on the phone with my uncle as I walked over and expressed to him the worry that had come over me. When I reached the trailer, all was quiet. Exactly what I didn't want to hear.

    As I approached the door, I realized that feeling in my stomach hadn't been for no reason. About five feet away from it I looked up at the window and I knew that I didn't want to go any farther. There was about a dozen flies that had made their home there. My aunt had a boxer, and my uncle kept asking if the dog wasn't barking. All I heard was silence. I told him about the flies in the window and told him that I didn't want to go in. Forcing me to, I got about two feet from the door, and I was hit with the smell of decomposition. It's a smell I didn't think I'll ever forget. As I opened the door, I felt like I was in a horror movie, swarms of flies came rushing out and the smell about knocked me on my ass. When I walked in, I was only able to take one step up into the trailer. I first looked to my left towards the kitchen. The poor dog was lying there, dead. I couldn't believe it. I screamed out to my uncle that he was gone, and my uncle automatically asked where my aunt was. I turned my head to the right and oh my god, what I saw I will never forget. There lying on the bed was my aunt, on her back, with nothing on from the waist down. Her stomached had distended so much it looked as if she was twenty months pregnant. I screamed out in terror to my uncle telling him that she was dead. I looked up at her face as he was asking me if I was sure, and I only was able to look for a second. Her face was swollen, purple and distorted, it didn't even look like my poor aunt. I screamed out in panic and told him I had to call 911 as he was telling me to do the same. I ran out of the house and fell to my knees as I called, I couldn't believe what I had just found. My poor aunt in there six days dead. Six days she laid in a hot box because the breaker had blown probably the first day and killed the air conditioning. 

    For probably two weeks after finding her I didn't want to go to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes her face was the only thing I saw. The guilt of not going over there sooner to check on her is something that will weigh on me probably the rest of my life. One thing is for sure, I definitely need some intense therapy after all of this.