Throughout my life, many people had suffered at the hands of my mental illness but nobody as much as my three boys, especially my oldest son Justin The things that he went through as a child I'm sure he'll never forget and I understand why he will always hold that resentment in his heart towards me. When I decided to move from Pittsburgh to Florida four years ago I was escaping an abusive relationship where I prayed to die every time he hit me. At the time I thought it was the right thing to do but I will forever regret it. I panicked because I was afraid for my life and afraid of what I had become. They say you have to grow up sometime and when I found my strength I can honestly say that's when I grew up.