Well, the vicious bitch struck again. Meaning me. All night I laid in bed thinking and overthinking which never works out for my benefit. Beside me, Bryant slept and I just stared at his in anger, disappointment, disgust, and love all rolled into one. When my head hit the pillow it never fails, my minds starts a turnin. How could this man I worship, that I've loved with every inch of my being keep doing this to me? Then I kept thinking to myself, "well Aprel you bitch enough for four wives and you know what his triggers are and you do it so very well. So, by six am I finally fell asleep and woke up a few hours not mad anymore. Planned on letting it pass. Well, then I don't really know what happened. I freaked. Every single thought that I had had the night before coming spewing out of my mouth. Ugh, bitch mode struck again. I screamed till I almost passed out and of course he yelled back. Which I expected. Damn this bipolar I have. These meds better kick in soon or I may end up giving myself a heart attack. He was just sitting there calmly minding his own business and I flipped, and I have no idea why. I don't know why I can't just get it all out in one argument, why I constantly revisit things. Is it that heavy and that hard on my heart?