So, yesterday started and ended like any other except for one EXTREMELY important thing, it was my babys' birthday. My last child ill will have ever had is celebrating his birthday and I couldn't even tell him Happy Birthday. I couldn't even tell I'm sorry. That I loved him. He's gonna grow up thinking I don't want him, that I don't wanna be bothered by him. Who the fuck decides that? Here it is and these are facts. I love all three of my precious angels. And even though my Justin hates me right now my chapter in their lives will never be closed. Finishing my book, that was for them. Surviving another day, for them as well. I want something that they'll be proud of. I wanna make a difference in the world enough that they'll be proud to say, "That's my mom." And I know that it won't be today because that evil piece of shit has brainwashed them, but promise you someday they will. But for today I'll just Happy Birthday my dear sweet Luca, mommy loves you and can't wait for someday to come...