So far 2020 hasn't gotten rid of the awful aftertaste that 2019 has left behind. The first day of the year put me in a situation that was all too familiar and left me not knowing whether to pray to rewind time or fast-forward it along. And I'm still debating. I've been in an awful mood the last week and I think I'm realizing why. Aside from the few posts I wrote about my dear friend's death, I've written nothing. I haven't been able to unleash all of my feelings and frustrations and actually breathe. I don't know how or why but when I get them out onto the screen and I'm able to look at the words staring back at me it's easier for me to rationalize if the way I've been acting and feeling is plausible or not. Two weeks into 2020 and I'm over it already. I'm trying to stay positive as best I can though because I woke up this morning. Every morning that I open my eyes I thank God for another day even if sometimes I'm anxious for that day to come to an end. And then I start all over when the sun rises once again and have faith that the day will be better than the last. And now just as I had thought I'm able to breathe and my chest a bit lighter. My mind is starting to distress as I notice all the words on the screen. Funny how the smallest things can help calm our souls.