I've been thinking about life lately, how precious it really is. One minute you can be here and the next you aren't. And it sucks because people that were so important when they were alive become just a distant memory and soon they are forgotten about. I wonder if I'll be forgotten about when that time arrives. I often think to myself, here I am 38, what have I accomplished? How have I made a difference in the world? The answer as much as it hurts is I haven't. Living with mental illness has prevented me from doing so many things that I've dreamed of doing but I haven't been able to. And then let's talk about my past marriage and my status with my children. Im so ashamed of the choices that I have made that brought me to this place in my life. At the time I thought I was doing the best thing for me and my children. Obviously, I was wrong. But if I could turn back time I don't know if I would do things differently. Because I've learned so much through my trials. I learned to survive. I learned how to live.