How can you turn away someone you love so much? How can you just walk away from someone who has truly had your heart for the last four years? The only one you've ever truly let in and put your walls down for? I was still trying to figure out what stage of grief I was in, knowing that there was no way I could only be in the first stage which is denial. I very well may be though since this roller coaster has just continued and continued not ever having an end date, never giving me time to heal. Just when I thought things were starting to calm down I was again hit by something else. Usually another woman and in turn another lie.